Charlene is Trying to Write

In July of this year, I had a wild idea: Why not get another master's degree?

I finished my PhD in 2023, was awarded a Fulbright U.S. Scholar award in 2024, left for Spain on that award in 2025, and then moved back.

While I sipped my coffee on my terrazza in Spain, my fingers would move quickly and eagerly across my keyboard, the cursor barely having time to take a breath on my screen. I was motivated to write more than I had been in years. Whether it was the sunrise because I hadn't slept due to the time change, or the sunrise while children laughed outside, I was writing regularly and responding to calls for book chapters, researching literary journals, and publishing regular blog posts. During this time, I produced two creative non-fiction pieces that absolutely nourished my soul, making me realize that while my path was essential to helping mold me into the scholar and writer I am today, I also had ignored crucial elements of who I am as a person.

We live in a world where accolades and achievement define us as people, and that is not to say we should not celebrate each other and lift one another up, but so often we want to climb some arbitrary ladder that makes us forget about our community, the people who have been there for us, and, just as important, who we are. For me, this resulted in pursuing what I thought I should do, though it is one I do not regret. I fell onto the path that I am on now, taking a sociology class for fun when I had to finish my undergraduate degree in history. From there, I applied for a Master of Arts in Sociology because I wanted to pursue the field, loving how to critically analyze the world around us. So much so that I finished that degree, went on to teach, and started a PhD in Education. I still love teaching and engaging with my colleagues, and there is something beautiful about critically analyzing our social world with those who understand the struggle of being one in education, especially within the sociopolitical landscape we're facing in the United States right now.

And I am so fortunate for the people I have met along the way, the opportunities I have had, and the training I have received. I certainly wouldn't have gotten a Fulbright, and definitely not to Málaga, if I hadn't done the PhD in Education. There are plenty of experiences I would never have had, and though I know different life paths, there is no doubt in my mind that this was what I needed at the time. But, along the way, I did lose track of what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, and that's to become a writer.

Sure, academia is filled with writing. And the social sciences provide necessary and valuable insight into the world around us. But my work also does not necessarily fit into a box that can be filed away as a social science, and I am finding it hard to "excel" in that field in a sustainable way. I want to write about "all of the things," and I cannot seem to force myself into a formulaic approach.

And then there's the reality that I feel excited to write fiction and poetry, to capture the world through photographs, and I love lyrical prose, all things that sociology and the social sciences are not quite aligned with the way I write, and that's okay. I'm realizing my work, which does focus on epistemic justice and knowledge production, reimagining the world around us, and figuring out how to express that knowledge, is probably more aligned with cultural studies and interdisciplinary work, and that's also okay.

So, I did what any other person mildly comfortable in the chaos that is schooling would do, and I applied to another master's. And I was accepted.

In August, I started a second Master's in English Studies. As I sat at the dining table at my dad's in Central Illinois, I got the idea that I should look at Eastern Illinois University, and I am so glad that I did. It's a school that isn't far from where my dad lives, and I was really appreciative of their online program. I started that a few weeks ago and already feel myself falling into analyses and approaches that make me feel whole in a way I haven't felt in some time. My emphasis is on creative writing, and being able to already workshop some of the things that I have written with other students who love the craft of writing is uplifting and exciting, and also pushes me to be vulnerable with my work, which is something I struggle with greatly.

I'm not sure what will come of it, but I do know that writing is where I need to be. Perhaps I explore academic endeavors that will allow me to write through these lenses, or maybe I finally finish the endless stories that I have filed away in my brain, the ones that barely make it through my fingertips onto something I can share with the world.

You'll notice that my website has changed a bit, making it more writing-focused, and that is intentional. I felt like I was juggling so many parts of who I am, and especially my academic identity, that I needed to include everything. And yes, my academic identity is, and will be, posted to this website, but my emphasis is on writing, because ultimately, every single day, Charlene is Trying to Write. There will be days that I will be able to write, and there will be days where I will just be frozen, unable to move while my cursor moves for both of us. And that's part of what I will explore on this page: my writing process, my growth, and the exploration of the world through writing. In an era where reading is becoming more infrequent and the reliance upon A.I. is heavy, and people are discouraged from finding their humanity if the work they do, I am trying to truly cling to the work I want to do as a writer.

I'll also be sharing some of my fiction work, which will be hidden behind a members-only page. "Membership" will be free, but I am doing it because I want to help protect my work and minimize the level in which A.I. can scrape my data and work, so I do encourage you to sign up to follow along with some of the things I'm willing to share.

For those who are already signed up, thank you. My website always had the intention of trying to share my work, but I slowed down, as you can even see with the dates between my writing these days. But between workshopping my writing and practicing writing a little every week at minimum outside of class and work, I'm excited to begin sharing fiction pieces and other thoughts here.

So, if you're interested in the beautiful, the frustrating, and the in-between of my writing, random photography and street art, stories of life and disability, academia, and random thoughts, don't hesitate to sign up. I'll be sharing things related to creativity and writing here, and hopefully more frequently now that I have finally found my passion and fire again.